Wahablog

Hello all-I’m doing well in cp right now. My class has a week to go before it’s over. African American lit is pretty alright. The reading’s a little boring tho. I’m excited to see everyone back at school again and also to take my new classes…I still need to get books for those..hmm…Otherwise, everything’s great!

Here’s a random conversation I had with my friend Kara on aim. We usually talk like this to each other, so don’t be alarmed. Enjoy:

me: hey
me: …you festering open sore of mushed green peas and ketchup disgust me to the inner core so violently!
kara: Hey
kara: is that an writhering rabid eel pulsating and latched on to your forehead?
kara: oh no its just your nose
me: sorry i couldn’t indulge you
me: but im afraid you’ve got a nasty open koala hangin from your lower lip
me: gee, wait, that’s your tongue that’s so black and blue
kara: oh no im sorry for your mistake but its actually your face that i ripped off with my razor-sharp teeth in a battle of angst over one half of a toasted dustball
me: ah such a pity! these are troubled times indeed…
me: i wish i could have warned you before i digested your arm in a rage of self hate after letting live piranhas chew the meat off for me while i sat looking for a kind of inner peace
kara: me too me too, however it would have been impossible for you to do so with your lips barbed-wired shut by my elite master craftmenship that i displayed in a act of pure defiance and odiousness
me: ah i see what you’re saying now…but you must have found that equally impossible to do since your feet were hog-tied into a snowmobile and dipped into liquid nitrogen so that the rest of your body froze until i shattered it with a piece of kentucky fried chicken, which i then proceeded to eat in reference to the symbolism provided by such actions-in which man must recognize his dependence on chicken and believe in the fastidiousness of womankind…
kara: that is completely idiotic and unfathomable. indeed you may be dependent on chicken because of your weakness to the race of the hog that you came to realize after i sent my pig hitman to plow you over with a zamboni while you were riding your tricycle, but to say that womankind is fastidious is like saying that a ball of yarn is child-bearing or supple.
me: you’re more than correct in your analysis of such prose, but to say that a ball of yarn is child-bearing or supple is akin to high treason in the court order of judge judy and i can’t say i like it any more than that. you’re lucky you’re alive enough to realize that if it weren’t for paul bunyon, your feet would be no more hairy than a duck’s in southern georgia in borscht weather-to say that it would be no long attached at the hip, colored like crayola markers, or exhibiting a nervous twitch not unlike the hue with which a jewish man mixes his paint cans using dough rollers…ie, soft and easy to adjust if out of place
me: beyond your obvious failing qualities, how are you?
me: and please finish waht you were typing
kara: maybe so, i am lucky for the generosity of paul bunyon but it is a sad sad thing that he looked over granting you such advantages in life. i feel a tear trickle down my taut tight cheek every time i think abot the complex of intertangled hair and erupting fungi growing from your big toe and ring finger toe that attract such squatters as travelling mosquito vectors and viruses that transmit the dreaded vomit plague. i wish upon a star every night before bed that the next day you will awaken and be normal like the rest of us but lo, i fear that it will never come to be.
kara: besides being perfect, im good!
kara: how are you
me: though the moon speaks to me of your beauty in low tones, only meant for those capable of such deep talk, in the darkest of night, im well
kara: such good good news to hear on this dark and lonely night
me: lonely? there isn’t a word for how i feel right now that expresses my core at 1/10 the power that lonely does
kara: well beside that troublesomeness how is cp
kara: it is painful for me to say this but i do miss you so
me: lol goood…just reading up for my class…so boring
kara: when do you come home
me: i wish i could tell you that i missed you too…but that wouldn’t give it justice
me: im hoping this weekend
kara: aww
kara: Good i hope so

This entry was posted on Monday, January 15th, 2007 at 8:19 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.